Hour of Power - Articles

Author: hacim

The Start of Two Seasons

April is finally here. It is the time of year when women begin spring cleaning. For men, it is a time for baseball and beer. Fat guys who wear shorts year round no longer have to take any crap for it. And women can start buying those whorishly skimpy outfits that make this world worth living in. Spring has begun. The greatest thing about April is the beginning of the baseball season. Fuck flowers blooming, fuck birds singing; nothing compares to opening day. For one brief moment in April, there are no first place teams, no last place teams. For one brief moment in April the Pirates don’t suck and the Cubs aren’t hurt. For one brief moment in April baseball fans all over the country will relieve their big blue baseballs, which have been throbbing and swelling since the end of last year’s Fall Classic. Once again the thrill of double plays and shots to the warning track will barrel out of our television speakers, and once again single and double shots will barrel down the throats of those of us who use our seventh inning stretch to yack off of our apartment balcony and grab a fresh beer. To all of you who need only 6 beers to tell that Bonds is on roids…to all of you who would convert to an obscure third world religion before you’d root for the American League…to all of you who giggle when you hear the word Pujols; here’s to you. Bottoms up, play ball.

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